Ten years ago, a study on parents and their adult children was released. The University of Michigan Institute for Social Research found that seniors were especially bothered when a relationship developed tensions. While adult children tend to distance themselves from a parent following a disagreement, that proved to be worse. The study found seniors felt worse when issues were avoided.
Senior care is one aspect where parents and their adult children are bound to disagree. Your mom sees herself as perfectly capable of living alone without any interference. You see her as being isolated and putting herself at risk. Your siblings think you’re overreacting. It’s leading to a squabble, and you don’t know what to do. The best advice is to stop them before they start.
Create Plans as Early as Possible
Sit down with your mom and your siblings and discuss warning signs while she’s still in great shape mentally and physically. Get your mom’s input on what she feels is a warning sign that she can’t handle living alone. Talk about a senior care plan to make sure she has the help she needs. Make sure she agrees with it. Date the paperwork, get everyone to sign an agreement, and provide copies to all.
Your mom should talk to a lawyer and choose a medical power of attorney and a financial power of attorney. She may not need help yet. When the time comes, it’s helpful to have people already designated for those roles.
Hold Regular Family Meetings
With monthly meetings, you can revisit the plan you’ve created. As situations change, address the plan that everyone agreed to and discuss what steps are necessary to address changing abilities or needs. It can help to see plans that were developed when everyone was calm and rational.
Don’t Overstep Your Responsibilities
If your sister was given medical power of attorney, your mom trusted her to make decisions. If you jump in and question her choices, there will be problems. Your beliefs don’t matter here. Your mom’s wishes are laid out in the medical power of attorney forms. Your sister has to follow your mom’s wishes.
You believe in holistic medications. Your mom does not. You want your sister to do what you feel is better for your mom. Your sister cannot do what you want without good reason. She has to do what your mom would want. Getting angry that she won’t cave to your demands is unfair. Don’t put her in that position.
Bring in Neutral Caregivers
Alleviate family drama by bringing in a neutral person for senior care. Your mom will thrive when her caregivers are focused on her needs and not family arguments. Caregivers are there for her and ensure she’s happy and safe. Call a senior care agency to learn more.
IF YOU OR AN AGING LOVED-ONE ARE CONSIDERING SENIOR CARE IN CARROLLTON, TX, PLEASE CONTACT THE CARING STAFF AT GOLDEN HEART SENIOR CARE TODAY. CALL (214) 272-2188.